Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize