I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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