So drunk its hurt
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
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Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
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I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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