"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
