Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
