How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
