I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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