Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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