I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
