Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
