I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
