Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is Oprah even human
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
