coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
