Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
