So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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