You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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