i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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