Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
