I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
