dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
