i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
