I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
