you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm at about main and main street
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
