Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
