Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
