i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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