he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
