We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
