you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
