it wasn't lemon gatorade
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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