You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
