just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
