i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
