"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
