Got a toothbrush?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize