community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
