oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
