I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
