if i died would you start the facebook group?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
