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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  dollar beers will do that to you.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Lol welcome to greek life

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Vodka?

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Forever.

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• (415): View more from California

  I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"

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