Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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