Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Randomize
