That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
