I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
