some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
