Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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