No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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