I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
