You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want to make out with him forever
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
