yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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