I heard we made out
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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