The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
