A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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