even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
