the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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