the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
