Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
