waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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