We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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