How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
