no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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