my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
