he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
