never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
