Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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