he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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