I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
