whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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