Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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